When people hug me, I always try to hold on for as long as possible until they try to move away.

It’s like, jokes on you bitch you’re mine now.

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  • 1 week ago
  • 2

dannnylawrence:

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

Re: Your Anaconda,

Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

Yours, etc.
A bunless hun

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  • 2 weeks ago
  • 477672

The best thing a girl can do is be able to dress like a boy and still know she’s hawt as fuck

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  • 2 weeks ago
  • 1

My boyfriend touches me like my cat.

"Hi, sweetie!"
..
“AUGHH MY FUCKING BOOB WTF.”

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  • 3 weeks ago
  • 2

If you can’t eat the crust on a pizza then you are weak and natural selection is coming for you.

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  • 1 month ago
  • 5

If you don’t have a dick, it’s because you’re a girl. If you don’t have a girl, it’s because you’re a dick.

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  • 1 month ago
  • 4

I don’t trust anyone that doesn’t have a bath mat next to their shower.

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  • 1 month ago
  • 3

People that name their kids after tv show/ movie characters:
“Katniss, put the squirrel down.”
“Augustus stop you are giving mommy feels.”
“Dean, you can’t do exorcisms in the basement.”
“Loki, you’re adopted.”

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  • #the hunger games #tfios #supernatural #loki
  • 1 month ago
  • 31
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  • #fairy tail #anime #chibi #pop up drawing #natsu #natsu dragneel #dragon slayer #lucy #lucy heartfilia #gray #gray fullbuster #Erza #Erza scarlet
  • 3 months ago
  • 45
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  • #pewdiepie #pewds #notice me senpai #brofist #bro army #therpgminx #mangaminx #minx #cry #cryaotic #chaoticmonki #sup #sup guy #cry mask #cinnamontoastken #ken #stay toasty #bear hat #chibi #netty scribble #digital art #fan art #youtubers #gamers #youtube
  • 4 months ago
  • 43
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